Planning ahead.

So I'm sitting here at work thinking about Christmas and all the goody temptations that I'll be faced with and thought maybe i should come up with some sort of plan. Something to help me deal with these temptations because lets face it will power will only work for so long.
I have no idea what I'm going to do but it's definately food for thought. I've already taken precautionary measures and only baked things that I can freeze easily so the little temptations are not sitting around begging me to eat them.
I think my best plan is to come up with something I can eat so at least I have an option outside of "no don't eat that"

Undeserving

So after my shower this morning I jumped on my scale hoping to see the same result as last week. 197.5 I think and was delightfully pleased to see 195.
I completely undeserved 2.5 pound loss! A huge loss to! Mind you I'm just getting over that time of the month and that can attribute to the HUGE loss.
But getting back to my week in review it wasn't as good as I know I can do. I ate Chinese food twice and sampled to many freshly backed goodies as well as my overindulgence in cake the other night (I still completely regret that) And lets not forget last night....
My boyfriend took me out to dinner to Tony Roma's, I contemplated a salad but decided on Ribs and soup instead. The soup doesn't conform to my diet but I thought I'd have a little anyway. Well the soup was good enough for me. I ate that and was completely satisfied. I then ate the steamed veggies and was starting to get full. After that I shoveled in however many ribs and was so full I hurt. Now that was bad. I should never have done that. I'm still feeling the side effects now from stuffing my face so thoroughly. My stomach still hurts and I feel ill. I deserve that though I know better.

Bad Day...BAD BAD Day

So I've been doing pretty well lately. I've managed to even cut my portions down without feeling overly hungry. My method? I listen to my body. When I start feeling full I push whats left on my plate awayand stop eating. I know its hard but eventually you get used to. Soon I hope I'll get over the wasting thing too. That's gonna be a tough one, although now I try to estimate the excate amount I will eat so I don't make to much.
Holidays aren't going great but they aren't going to badly either. I've been able to freeze most of baking up to this point and I've only sampled everything. A bun here or there and a cookie....ok maybe two but they were really small. At least I've started cooking with Splenda, its more healthy with less sugar and tastes just as good.
Now comes my bad news dun dun dun.... I ate cake! Gosh darn it. Just when I think I've got temptation whipped and under some sort of control my mother goes and brings in this absolutely ginormous cake. I managed to say no the first two times. Thats partly because I was able to tell myself "I haven't had dinner yet" but after dinner was another story.
I caved and ate two pieces...and not small ones either.
So there we go I blew my day and possibly my week with all the sampling and chinese food that has come in my house oh and don't forget the banana bread....oh well its the holidays and I'll aim for maitenance this month. Aim for loss next month.

Gotta work on the posting....

Acck! The last time I posted was on the 5th and its now the 11th....completely unacceptable. I gotta get me ass in gear.
Week in review: I did well with my eating accept for sampling some cookies on Tuesday and I didn't drink my water like I told myself I would. I've been drinking coffee instead because I've been feeling more and more sluggish. I hate the feeling and wish I could shrug it off but I litter ally wanna take a nap at my desk. Oh well Coffee time...

So I jumped on the scale this morning and I can't say I was all to pleased to see 197. Its great, 1.8 IBS lost from last week which I should be proud about but I'm just not feeling it. I'm just not myself today, I 'm sooo tired....
Anyways I'm out.

Water water everywhere and I just don't want to drink it.

I'm having a hard time getting in the amount of water I need into my body. I literally have to force myself to get a cup of it every time I drink it. I'm sooo addicted to coffee and diet Pepsi and that's just not good for me. I've tried the little crystal lite things you can buy and put in you're water and I will still use them occasionally but it gives the water an acidic taste that I just don't like all that much. ( I only like Pink and regular Lemonade) I think one of the key factors to my great weight loss last week was that I drank so much water, keeps the body hydrated and constantly flushed. That's gotta be a good thing right?

With that said I'm in a size 12 dress! I'm uber excited because I cannot even recall the last time I was able to wear a size 12. I bought it at Sears where I tried on several dresses mostly 12's and one 14. The 14 was to big and one of the 12's was to small while the one I choose (a 12) is a little tight but smokin on me. I'm hanging on to the fact I tried it on when I was 5 pounds heavier and I don't get to wear it until Saturday which will give me a chance to be a couple??? (wishful thinking?) pounds lighter. *Crosses fingers* If not I do have a backup dress which is probably to big on me now but I'm sure I'll figure it all out.

Onederland!!!

I Did it I hit it I'm in Onederland! I haven't weighed this less since I was in high in junior high. I'm so giddy, Oh so happy.

I was hesitant at first to jump on the scale for my Friday ritual of weighing. I kept doing other morning chores and skirting around the scale. Finally I said enough is enough and I jumped on. Low and behold I'm 198.5! OMIGOD I wasn't expecting that! That's huge!, That's great! I'm definitely on the right track. Now I'm kicking myself in the butt for not taking pictures because I'm down 10 pounds and I have no comparison's. Oh Well I'll bask in the enjoyment of my onderland and get on taking pictures tonight when I get home.

One another note I was thinking last night just before I went to bed. I had been standing in the mirror... Naked...I was changing into my night time shirt. And it stuck me, I love my body! I mean it. I love the changes its making, I love the way its starting to look, I love the way clothes are fitting me and I love the way its responding to me. I just love it. Of course my body could drum up a little more energy for me but that comes in time and I'm completely willing and happy to let that happen when it happens.

Goals

I've been thinking... I'm going to challenge myself. I want to hit wonderland by Christmas but at this point it looks very very achievable. I want to challenge myself to achieve 197. I think its very doable if I stepped it up a notch and drank more water and somehow incorporated a little bit of excerise into my routine.
I'm excited about my new goal and anxious to start working on it. I SOOOO want to get some excersie its just so out of the picture right now because of how far behind I am with my school work. An hour spent excersing can be an hour spent catching up.
I think I'll forgo driving out to the farm on my days off again so I can sit my butt down and start working on more homework. The farm house can wait, I need to get this done.

Lower....

So yesterday I reported a gain and I was bummed about it. I know I cheated once or twice during the week but I didn't think I'd gain from it. Actually I knew I hadn't gained from it. So I weighed myself throughout the day ( I hope thats not cheating) and got 203 right before I went to bed. So after a long day of eating and moving around I got a lower reading. I'm going to record the 203 instead of the 205.5 and hope this isn't going to be a trend, If it is then I'll start recording the weight I get in the morning and keep with it.

Blah Blah Blah and more Blah

Ick what a horrible week. I've been so tired lately with my trying to catch up in my studies and I'm wearing myself thin. I'm not going to catch up though I apply myself just about every night and don't get any further then a regular day would get me. Nothing is coming easy so I can't zip through anything.
The last time I posted was last friday just after weigh in So today makes my next weigh in and I'm completely bummed about it. I avoided weighing myself this morning, partly because my Bf was over and partly because I knew the numbers weren't going to be good. Well it wasn't.
It was mid afternoon by the time I did jump on the scale but there's no doubt in my mind I did not consume enough food to equal my gain. I weighed 205.5 today. That's only a 0.7 gain and its probably a false reading due to many factors but its still got me bummed.
I haven't been ....how do you say....regular? the entire last week so I think thats the biggest factor in this weight gain. I'm doing a few different things to try adn change that. I'll take a new weigh in when I feel comfortable doing so. Until then I'll just hang tight and not cringe to much at my .7 gain. It could be worse and although I stuck to my diet mostly I did cheat a little. Cheat free weeks are hard for me but I'm still working on it.

Looooooong week

So I seen my ex husband off on Wednesday, early in the morning. He seemed pretty eager to get home, probably to meet his new woman that he had been chatting to the whole time he was down here. Right after he was out the door my bf pops in, brought me eggs so I could make breakfast.
We had eggs mixed with onions and green pepper with three pieces of bacon each. It was yummy! Afterwards we went shopping ( more window shopping then anything for me) And since it was his birthday I broke down and cheated. I had a poutine... I've been bad all week. Had a sandwich earlier in the week to. I tried to be reasonably and didn't eat it alland for the rest of the day I didn't have anything out side the limits of my diet until we got to cake....I had half a piece of birthday cake. It was a little to sweet for me. Normally I'd have two pieces with ice cream because its SOOOOO good. But after having a few bits I experienced what I've heard a few other people saying. It just didn't taste as good as I thought it was going to. So instead of eating it all waiting for that taste to come I threw it out before I had any second thoughts and went to my second job. Yeah for me!

Yesterday I didn't do so well. I had the remainder of the cake just sitting there taunting me all day, begging for me to just sample it. I managed to get all the way to 8pm before I cut up a piece and ate it. Again it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be but I did eat the whole thing. Phewy. When I look at the broad spectrum I did well. One and a half pieces is much better then my old norm of half the cake. And when weighed in with the rest of the week its no so bad because I mostly stuck to it.

Late night...

I decided to go out last night with my bf. He wanted to go for dinner and I wanted to see the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band which was playing in one of our local bars. So we bought are tickets for 70 bucks...a little much if you ask me and then went to Egan McSweggans for dinner. Apon arrival we found it to be much to busy ( there wasn't an empty table to be found) and decided on Boston Pizza instead. BP's was just as bad but we did manage to find a table, it was dirty but the waitress cleaned it for us promptly. Promptly really isn't a word you hear around Grande Prairie all that much. Service is terrible here and you just kinda get used to it. Anyways the menu turned out to be Atkins non friendly. Of course there were salads in it but nothing that looked all that appetizing. So I failed and ordered a sandwich. Atkins no no the bread....I did pick the cruton's off my salad but ate the bread with my sandwich.

In my defence I was hungry and I ate everything while my bf ended up leaving more then half his dinner on the plate.

So after dinner we went over to see the band, it was packed when we got in there at 9 or just after but we decided to stay and push our way through the crowds. By 10 the band started up and it started to get so packed I doubt you could fit any more people in there. By 10:30 I had had enough and was over heated and feeling sick so my Bf and I left. What a waste of money!

Oh well by the time we got home I passed out anyways. I guess I didn't realize how tired I was.

Friday......

Dun dun duh!!!!.... The dreaded friday the 13th! Aww its not so unlucky. I love fridays and I love the number 13 (probably because not many people do) My life has always been wrought with bad luck so friday the 13th is just another typical day for me. Anyone supertituos? Do you do anything special to ward off bad luck?

So today was my weigh in day, every friday of every week. I wanted to make myself wait until after work but I was to curious and jumped on the scale when I was freshly out of the shower. (No extra weight added by clothes) Low and behold I'm down almost 2 pounds. I'm so happy with myself. I did have two slip ups but they weren't so bad. Now I just need to keep up the good work and hopefully be slim in no time...Hahahaha yeah I know funny...

Oh so tired......

The last two days have been steady. Not so much hectic but I've been on the go and its go go go. I guess getting back to my daily week of work is my time to relax. Monday and Tuesday was spent out at the farm house trying to fix it up to make it more appealing to potential buyers. Gosh I want that house to sell. I want it to sell so badly so I can go to school and pay off my mountains of bills. I won't go into detail about how I didn't make them, my ex husband played that part.
So anyways Monday morning was get up, have breakfast and go. We were out the doors by 9:30 am. We meaning me, the ex husband and my children. Does that seem like a decent time or am I still getting up late and getting my day off to a late start? I spent the whole day putting putty on walls. Who knew puttying could take so long? I have bruises all over the fronts of my legs and knees from getting on and off my chair all day. Its not one of those normal height chairs either. Its exceptionally high because the table we had out there was counter height.

Tuesday was spent sanding all my putty imperfections down and reapplying to different spots that were to finely sanded or "missed" I guess my ex complained that I spent to much time in there. *Shrug* I like to have everything just so, might even call me a perfectionist but I do not think my skills with the putty knife are good enough to warrant perfection. Once my walls are painted I'm sure they'll look good but I'm also sure there will be lots of imperfections.

So because of all the work and how far out we were and the lack of proper food and don't forget lack of ambition to make anything. ( I was exhausted) I flubbed up a bit. We ordered Chinese....DUM DUM DUM!!! (Insert evil scary music) I had light breaded pork... not to bad....and breaded chicken balls... again not to bad but enough to throw me over the do not cross carb line. The following day was no better we went to A&W. I selected chubby chicken, while I did a little better that time I still ate some skin...Bad Jancie! I did pull of most though I was almost in diet breaking mode but I managed to come out half assed. Perhaps I'll do better next time.

So today wasn't to bad, I ate a little to much but its not portion control I'm after. I'm counting carbs and trying to keep it as low as possible. I cut out my daily timmies yesterday but still had coffee this morning with french vanilla creamer. I used to think that the creamer was ok in moderation since it has about 10 -12 carbs in 2 tablespoons. Normally that would be ok but I drink coffee like there's no tomorrow so I have to look into a good milk subsitute. Splenda works fine for me as a sugar substitute, I can use as much as I want since there are no carbs but I usually use half the amount I would otherwise use with sugar because I find it almost too sweet.

So tomorrow morning might be spent looking for a milk substitute for coffee. I need to find some good no cal snacks also, something ready made or I can prepare before hand that will keep for a while. A substitute for bread would be good too. I've been using cheese lately as my bread substitute but that grows old fast.

So other the that I bought a new scale and I weigh a little less on it then my husbands old one so technically I have a new weight. I'll take my measurements here soon too so I can have everything ready to go for a new start with a new scale.

I wonder how fattening coffee really is? Lately I've been given two or three XL double double's every day. I've never limited myself on what I'm allowed to drink besides whats obvious. Root beer floats anything genuinely labeled as fat in a cup...

But thats got me thinking, since I drink so much coffee just how bad is it for me?

I know its my excuse for not drinking so much pepsi....diet mind you. I'm not getting the water in like I should but I'm working on it and doing better. I actually drank a whole bottle of water yesterday (which is an accomplishment for me) and I was bloated! I'm talking so bloated rings weren't budging of my fingers.

So anyways here is what I found.

Nutrition FactsServing Size: 14 oz
Amount per Serving
Calories 230
Calories from Fat 108
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 12g 18%
Saturated Fat 7g 35%
Trans Fat 0.4g
Cholesterol 50mg 17%
Sodium 50mg 2%
Total Carbohydrate 26g 9%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugars 26g

Est. Percent of Calories from:
Fat 47.0% Carbs 45.2%

Alarming....slightly....time to lay off the coffee now....shoot. I have to look into a good milk substitute for myself as well something to put in my homemade coffee that won't be as alarming as my double doubles.

*Sigh*

Eeeeeek!!

Been so long since I posted, its been a roller coaster ride with flu season in full swing, the scare of H1N1 and my kids actually coming down with...whatever it was they got. I haven't been giving the attention to my diet that it certainly deserves, I have however maintained my current weight very well though. Looks like I can diet for half the day while binging the other half and maintan my current weight.
With halloween just passed, the stress from school and work and my soon to be ex husband in the mix I found it extremely hard to stay on track. Actually the only one plaguing my results is the ex husband he constanly wants to go out and eat, always lining me up to fail. Thats probably why I can maintan so well. When I'm at work I"m not around him and I can make better choices.

He hasn't left yet but my resolve is not broken, I want to achieve the mini goal I set for myself awhile ago of being under 200 by christmas. I have just under 2 months to do it so I know I can and will. 10 pounds every two months from now on is going to be my goal. Its reasonable and completely accomplishable. If I loose more thats great!

ARGH! I'm so tired....When I got off work yesterday I went straight to picking up my kids and starting dinner. My girl seems to have a frog in her throat and she's more tired then normal...not up to being her normal crabby self LOL Ahh my poor baby is coming down with something, hope its nothing big I really can't afford to take any time off work. On that note I need to buy my boy a hat and jacket. Time to hit Value Village.
So I failed on my diet yesterday..not miserably but bad enough. I blame it on my boyfriend he taunts me with chocolate and ice cream. My stradegy is and always has been to just not buy it and have it in the house. Then when I have a weak moment I have nothing to indulge in and therefore its so much easier to turn my mind to something else. Nonetheless last week he bought a box of ice cream sandwiches from Dairy Queen..the really irrisitable kind, there must have been 20 of those little things in the box. So far I'm managed to get my hands on three or four and feed the rest to the kids. There is still about 4 or 5 left yet and I don't have the heart to throw them out (I have a terrible time wasting food) so for now I've put them in the basement freezer and made them a little more inaccessible, I've fooled myself for a little while ...until the boyfriend bought home early halloween candy. He said he had a craving. Grrr! I ended up eating ....to many of those and right before bed time to. He's promised me now that he'll take them out of my house and put them in his own....but he hasn't done it yet bloody man.
To sum it all up I'm off to a terrible start. Both day one and day two have been plagued with sweets and ill decisions, oh well today is another day.

Its go time!

So it was Febuary I last posted...my that was a long time ago and it took me alot longer then I thought to get started on my weight lose goals. I think I really started around the Beginning of June... I'm not sure what woke me up excately but leaving my husband and starting a new job certainly might be factors. Heh go figure.
So orginially I was doing very well I started at 237 and I'm currently down to about 215-210 not positive because I don't have a scale. I try to weigh myself every time I go out to my husband's and I martial home and get a number then so I'll try to do that next time I'm there and get a new starting weight. I don't take the scale or buy a new one because I tend to overdue it and jump on the scale way to much which in turn causes mood changes that fluctuate as does with anyone's weight.
So today is my new day one. My diet of choice is A revamped Atkins and by that I mean I try to stick to the Atkins diet namely,...... however I do not deprive myself of fruits and vegetables or pepsi...heh. I've infused my daily habits with water and crystal light (which is also an atkin No-no) I only drink diet pepsi...yes I know water is better for me but I'm breaking a pop addiction so I've brought it down to diet pepsi and only one during lunch and one at super sometimes two. I figured that if i took out everything I love I'll become depressed with my diet and not stick to it. I want to eat the foods I love but in a more healthy manner. Hopefully this way of thinking won't be my undoing.
So living on my own is taking some time to get used to. I have a full time job, as well as a part time job two kids, a dog and a boyfriend and don't forget I'm doing school through correspondance. In other words I have alot on my plate and I have no idea where I'll find time for the excercise I so desperately need. I think right now I'm going to work on staying on track in my diet and getting into a routine, I'll fit in excercise if I can but for now I won't make it the number one priority on my list.
Friday I'll try and get some pictures and measurements as well as a number for weight.

Is this the start

Alright so this is day one of my weight loss journey. I've decided to do something about my weight. I can't stand to see myself in the mirror anymore, I'm constantly comparing myself to others whom I think are about my weight and even looking at people and thinking "if only I was just that chubby" Its time to do something about it. MY wake up call came today, it was simple really I just thought "I'm 25 and all my young life is going to be spent fat. I'll never look slim, always have a chubby chin (or all 34 for that matter)" The worst is clothes.. I have a closet full of stuff that I've bought that just doesn't fit. I'll throw it up on top never to be seen again with the promise I'll loose weight eventually and wear them, cuz they are only a little tight. WELL not anymore! Those clothes will not be donated and they won't be thrown out. They'll be worn dammit! I'll wear holes in them all!!!
Today is the decision tomorrow comes the start. Heh, I'll get to sleep on it. It doesn't help that I'm suffering from a damned stomach ache. I've never figured out what causes them, I've likened them to birthing pains. And yes I can honestly say that. Anyways time for rest got a long day tomorrow.