Finally!!

When I jumped on the scale this morning I read 172! Finally, I see movement in the right direction. My hard work payed off this week. I've been running on my gazelle just about every night. Granted I took wednesday off to re coup and Friday because I was over tired.
I had a few slip ups such as eating a bag of chips and a few to many second helpings but I'm working on it. I'm so proud of myself for getting back on track and getting right back into it with vigor!
I worked out this morning for 40 mins on my gazelle. I ate good but i didn't get my little 7 minute running on the spot in. However I might try to get that in when I get home. I might be to tired but at least I got my 40 mins in so I'm not going to complain.

So behind.... Life is at a pause and maybe sifting back.

I know, I barely post. I mean to. I want to. But life just gets me down and I'm dealing the best I can. Dealing with my ex husband is no small chore, the money for my car payment was withdrawn by him so my car went NSF. I know its not as big of a deal as I make it out to be. Just call the company and rearrange to pay it. My problems and stress lie deeper then that. My husband...ex husband is my problem. I left him for a reason and I want so badly to be able to cut ties with him. Fighting on the phone would be the least of my problems. Our finiancial obligations are whats got me so down. We keep a joint account open for all our jointly owned pocessions and the payments on them. There is never enough money and lots of NSF fee's. Nothing I can do until we sell the house. Once the house sells we can pay off all the jointly owned pocessions and completely cut ties with each other but until then this is my life and I've been struggling through it for 3 years now. Does it ever end??

I'm soooooo tired.

Yes thats right I'm tired, I was up till three am and up at 7am with my kids for Easter. This sucks I still have to work another 5 hours, will this day never end?

I did terrible on the diet today I just can't stop eating. I'm hungry all the time now. I choose my snacks carefully but the amount I consume cannot possibly promote any weight loss. It didn't help either that I had a few handful's of chocolate today. Hope I can resist it all tomorrow as the chocolate is still in the house.

Lordy Lordy

Oh my Gosh its been so long since I've posted. I guess you can say I've fallen off the band wagon...Boooo. What happened was I plateaued. I hate it, I hate typing it I hate saying it I hate admitting it, I HATE IT.
I shouldn't say I've fallen off completely. I have simply plateaued and just haven't made the nessesary changes to get the weight loss kicking again. The good news is I've stuck true to my diet and have maintained very well. I have snuck in some evil devil treats but I now know that when I am done with loosing weight its not going to be as hard to maintain a decent weight as I once thought.
I've come off the carb diet and started eating two pieces of toast for breakfast and allowing myself carbs here and there. I'm watching Calories now while still keeping the carbs to a minimum as most of the high carb things are full of calories anyway.

So some changes I've made are that I no longer allow myself to bring pepsi to work, this then forces me to drink water. I only drink about 32oz on a good day which I know isn't all that great but its still much better then my normal 0 0z. So thats a work in progress.
I've also brought in my gazelle from the farm so I'm gonna start plugging away on that. Did I mention I hate it? Yes I hate my gazelle, it gets boring and I know I need to find something I enjoy to be able to keep at it, something a little more reasonable to be able to incorporate a life change. Its what i got for now though and its better then nothing. I'm sure I'll find something I like but its gonna take time and alot of hard work. I'll get there.

Up

Argh, I'm up. 177.5 and I was doing so well to...maybe it was a false reading last time? I don't believe I've done anything out of the ordinary to actually gain weight. My eating I'll admit has been a little off but at a maitenance level at its worse I'm sure.
I'm going to start going to the gym we have at work today. I don't have my kids for two weeks so its the perfect opportunity for me to get some excersie in. I'll work my ass off for two weeks and hopefully get some sort of routine going for myself.
Once I have a routine I'm more likely to stick to it. Yay me!
I need to get back to weighing myself weekly because as of late I've been doing it almost daily and its a terrible thing for me to do because I tend to look past the numbers and internalize it.
I always have a bad day when the numbers are telling me something I don't wanna see.
So back to my 4 pound gain, again I doubt I actually gained it. I'm sure I'm retaining or something because as of late my stomach has been really bugging me. Maybe excerise will help flush that out. I hope!

Blah

Just one of those weeks. Nothing special. Fighting with the ex boyfriend alot. He's trying to trick me into talking to him...Long story. But I have met someone new, he drowns me in compliments which inspires me to keep going.
Todays weigh in was minor but one I'll take and be happy with. A -.5 Loss. So considering all the cheating I've been doing and lack of excersie. (I lost one job) I think thats just ok.

Caution! Proceed with care.

This past week has been a roller coaster whirlwind. It started off with my violently ill and sick to my stomach. The worst part about it is that I took the brunt of it at work. Wild cramping and trips to the bathroom. I tell ya I counted milliseconds to the end of my shift.
I managed to get home ( I have no idea how) and passed out. Thank God for sisters and brother in laws whom so kindly watched my children.
I wasn't so bad the next day but my stomach has been tender since and nothing sits in it right. I always feel a little sick...it is getting better though but what a flu! So needless to say I expected a great weight loss, not that I was proud of my not eating. I tried to force myself but it was to bloody hard with how sore my stomach was. Today I even had a time. I managed to get a banana and two pieces of bacon for breakfast but that was all I could stomach.
So that was the flu.. I also got fired but not in so many words. My husband gave up the cleaning contract I managed because the manager of the place was complaining about this I had already done just because my husband wasn't in town. I don't know where he comes off at but there will be no more of that.
I also gave away my poor sweet dog. Now I can have the flu and get fired any day of the week over letting go of my dog. She was the ugliest thing in the world but she was mine....oh gosh I 'm gonna miss her.

So with all that said when I jumped on the scale this morning I weighed in at a whooping 180. No i didn't do a dance, and no I didn't scream in happyness. I just nodded my head and preceeded with my morning. Its a great loss but it also might screw me up in the weeks to come. I could be dehydrated, I could be starving for food. Who knows...I guess time will tell.