Clothing Mayhap

        Argh! Ok so I'm having a really tough time with clothing lately and creating a style for myself that I feel good in. I used to dress in just about anything that was my size so long as it looked half decent. Fit didn't matter to me then, heck being comfortable in my clothing wasn't anything I worried about either, so long as it fit. I'm sure you can all agree that when you're heavier you don't get to wear all the beautiful clothes. You wear flowers, stuff that's to tight because its a pain to always try everything on in those tiny fitting rooms. Half the stuff is to small and you work up a sweat trying to pull it all on. Trying clothing on when you weigh almost 260 pounds or more is a chore and embarrassing. I got so I'd estimate my size and just grab what looked like it fit. More then half the time the items either were tight or I couldn't get them over my head. It was horrendous. I got so I'd throw a sweater over everything I wore, and that was a poorly fitting sweater too.
         My problem now is that I do have a lot of options and while I've migrated to actually trying on clothes I still break out in a sweat and end up rushing out of the room straight after I've tried everything on. I'm getting better but the preconceived notion of everything not fitting is still there and its almost like a constriction in the throat. Now that my options have expanded greatly my tastes have changed but to what? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I follow a few blogs to get a few ideas of what looks good but most of these girls have killer body's. Me...I'm still working on mine.
I need a friend with killer fashion sense and my body type to follow. Like that is going to happen.
         I guess I'll have to figure this one out.

Caught up in life.

       Omigosh It has been forever since I've blogged. I've been following everyone else's, not diligently mind you and have neglected mine. I've just had very little time and I've hardly been following my diet, at least not as hardcore as I should be. I just don't have the time, we all get wrapped up in life sometimes. I don't lie though, between school, kids and homework its just to hard to juggle it all and try to devote some time to blogging.
      I did just get out of a 3 hour long math test. I can't say it was as hard as I expected it to be. I hope I pass that's all I'm hoping for, that's how much I have struggled with this darn class. I wish I had more time to devote to my studies. Usually I like to spend at least 3-4 hours on math each night or day to run everything over in my head and help to understand everything we went through in the day. This class was just to fast pace and in order to keep up with the daily workload I had to keep pushing on regardless if I understood it as well as I would have liked. Oh well...if I pass I pass, if I do not, then I do it over again. I don't want to have to but should I have to then I'm confident I'll get the mark I want.
     I really hope next semester's workload is not as heavy so I'll have time to read and update my blog as much as I would like to. I find it really helps me mull over the day and strive to do better in the coming days. I also love following everyone else and lend a encouraging note.  I hold them all responsible for the weight loss I've achieved currently and forever am thankful.

One day at a time....

Been awhile

Omigosh its been forever since I've been on here. I have to admit I've been lazy, with good reason though.

After having my baby in Decemeber I've had multiple complications and infections so sticking to any diet wasn't happening. At the end of my nine months of pregnancy I ended up weighing 205 IBS which is a reasonable amount of weight, I didn't want to go over 200 IBS but it happened so now I have to deal with it.

About two weeks ago I started my carb diet again and have already taken off 4 pounds with no exercise. I'm proud but its overwhelming at the same time because I'm doing it all over again. For those people that relapse and find themselves doing it over and over again I applaud you. I don't know how you do it and keep positive.

So I'm currently weighing in at 182.5. My prepregnancy weight was 172. My goal is the same as before approxiamately 145, more of where I feel comfortable then a number itself. My diet is low carb while still tracking calories. I can't exercise right now because of an adiminal wound I was left with after having the baby. My nurses fiigure I'll be another 3 weeks before thats healed up so unfortunately I'll even be awhile after that before I can get on my newly purchased treadmill and get going.

All in all life is ok and I'm back on the band wagon. I hope to be around my goal by mid summer. I wanna have a sexy bathsuit picture this year! LOL

News

So I've been gone for awhile and with good reason too. I'm pregnant.... yes you heard me right I'm pregnant. It came as a surprise but I've embraced it and I'm ready to trek on. I'm not gonna let getting pregnant throw me off my band wagon. I'm not gonna spiral off and let my body revert back to an unhealthy state.
With that said I've been very sick and not just with morning sickness but with a change in diet and high blood pressure. Needless to say its been a loosing battle with my diet. I've been binging and eating way to much. My weight has been teteering between 172 and 177 which isn't good. My first goal right now is to get back on track with my eating and get my weight steadied out.

I'm no longer attempting to loose weight for now, just control it, eat healthy and stay fit. Once I have my baby I'll launch back into loosing weight but for now my life will be staying fit and healthy with baby.

Not what I was hoping for.....

So I didn't post my usual saturday weigh in post because I was waiting for today. Yesterday I was serverly bloated and just didn't feel myself. So my weight was sitting at 174 which I knew was wrong. I weighed myself today and i was sitting back down at 172... much happier with that but I guess I was hoping for a loss even a miniscule one. Reflecting, I didn't have such a great week.
I exercised about half of it so thats better then nothing but my eating wasn't so great. Wasn't bad but not condusive to weight loss. Eat a few things here and there that I shouldn't have ut not bad overall. Keeps me on track.
I suspect I've gained a bit of muscle because my pants are a tad looser and it just generally feels like i have. I know that sounds weird but I think I know my body.
So I'm not gonna sweat it and keep up my good work. If nothing at all I'm maintaining and my exiercise feels great!

Finally!!

When I jumped on the scale this morning I read 172! Finally, I see movement in the right direction. My hard work payed off this week. I've been running on my gazelle just about every night. Granted I took wednesday off to re coup and Friday because I was over tired.
I had a few slip ups such as eating a bag of chips and a few to many second helpings but I'm working on it. I'm so proud of myself for getting back on track and getting right back into it with vigor!
I worked out this morning for 40 mins on my gazelle. I ate good but i didn't get my little 7 minute running on the spot in. However I might try to get that in when I get home. I might be to tired but at least I got my 40 mins in so I'm not going to complain.

So behind.... Life is at a pause and maybe sifting back.

I know, I barely post. I mean to. I want to. But life just gets me down and I'm dealing the best I can. Dealing with my ex husband is no small chore, the money for my car payment was withdrawn by him so my car went NSF. I know its not as big of a deal as I make it out to be. Just call the company and rearrange to pay it. My problems and stress lie deeper then that. My husband...ex husband is my problem. I left him for a reason and I want so badly to be able to cut ties with him. Fighting on the phone would be the least of my problems. Our finiancial obligations are whats got me so down. We keep a joint account open for all our jointly owned pocessions and the payments on them. There is never enough money and lots of NSF fee's. Nothing I can do until we sell the house. Once the house sells we can pay off all the jointly owned pocessions and completely cut ties with each other but until then this is my life and I've been struggling through it for 3 years now. Does it ever end??